I rescued two drunken Slovakian lesbians last night
LESBIANS
Last night on my way back from a gig at Monkey Business I met two drunken Slovakian lesbians at Bank tube station – They were trying to get back to their hotel in Borough but it being London no one would help them… well it could also be something to do with the fact that one of them was was barking like a dog and snarling at anyone who got near to them… which was a little off putting for most potential providers of assistance… But not for Bob Slayer I could see that there might be an adventure in this! And the bark is always worse than the bite…
After a little chat it was plainly obvious that providing directions alone would be as much use as giving a polar bear a skidoo and so I did the gallant thing and I took them the two stops to Borough myself and then I even found a pub that was still open… The lesbians sat on a sofa and started doing what lesbians do best – i.e. lesbian things. I sat near them chatting to the only other women in the pub – 3 Americans – and we watched the scene unfold…
The lesbian floor show soon got the attention of the high quality clientel – mostly drunken old men and one by one they lined up to join in – there was some inappropriate groping and I wondered if it was going to get out of hand, maybe I would need to save them again? But it seems this was a situation they were experienced in dealing with. One of the lesbians jumped up on the table and screamed at all the men in the pub “You are all perverts and rapists…” She then pointed at me and said “Bob is the only gentleman here”
The three American girls I was sat with gave a little round of applause at this point (which was nice)
Then the other lesbian grabbed me and shoved me by the table that the first lesbian was stood on – she then joined her friend on the table and with their backs to the pub and the drunken men they both bared their breasts for me – at this point I have to admit that there was some groping from me – but this time it was obviously deemed appropriate as their response was to snog each other… And then we get to my favourite bit – the barmaid came over and gave me a pint on the house… And all the ladies – 3 Americans, 2 lesbians (with breasts still in the out position) and 1 barmaid raised their glasses to toast: “Gentleman Bob”
TAXI
Now you would think that was enough excitement for one night. But not quite – We drank some more the americans, the lesbians and me and then eventually the pub closed and I bid them good night. As I got into my Taxi I was still chuckling about the events of the night and of course I had to tell the Greek Taxi driver a little about my adventure. He immediately wanted more details and started to ask me many questions
What did they look like? What did I see? How large were their breasts? Did I get to touch them? When he asked me: “Did your sperm come out” I thought that the questions were getting a bit odd and I looked over at him to discover that it was not a gear stick he was playing with! He was rubbing his cock through his trousers…
So what did I do? Well actually I felt obliged to continue my tale. I could not send him back into the Taxi pool without letting him reach a resolution – he would be a danger to all other passengers. As we drove along I continued to tell him about the evening but soon I ran out of titillating facts and I had to add other events that clearly did not happen – At one stage I threw in that the pub dog joined in… He seemed to like that and was very keen to know what breed of dog it was and how big it was… I think he was actually after the size of a specific part of the dogs anatomy! Fortunately we got to my destination before he reached his climax
As I jumped out of the car I saw him taking his cock out of his trousers. I threw some money at him and he gave me a big toothy smile as he began to masterbate furiously. I closed the car door and I don’t know why but I stood there watching him for a moment. The thought crossed my mind that this must be what dogging is like. As I left him to complete his sordid business I gave him a little wave. I felt a little dirty but pleased that I had been able to provide a service both to him and to public at large.
Gentleman Bob
