Debauchery in Disneyland
Bob Slayer’s Debauchery in Disneyland (Published In The Fix Mag)
Harry knows that I tour around the world with Japanese rock band Electric Eel Shock and so he set me the task of listing my top 5 most debauched after shows but, like the sixties, if you remember them then you were not really there! So instead here are 5 chronological debauched happenings at one randomly selected gig:
The Bloodhound Gang at The House of Blues in Disneyland, LA.
1. Mickey Mouse Police: Security stopped us on the way into Disneyland and turned the Tour Bus and Truck upside down looking for drugs. Of course there were lots of drugs on board, but they were well out of the reach of sniffer dogs, gaffer taped to the roof! Eventually it was decided that enough was enough and so, as one security guy re-boarded the bus, he found himself staring straight into the brown eye of the Tour Manager’s naked, hairy arse which was hastily backing onto his nose. This offer to search such an intimate cavity was declined and he was immediately ejected and banned from Disneyland for life. The band were eventually allowed to go on in without their Tour Manager. This pre-gig run in may have set the tone for the evening…
2. Blood, Piss and Poop: Bloodhound gang gigs often involve a little nakedness and bodily fluids but this gig seemed to be defined by the prevalence of human waste and discharge. The gig culminated is several on stage fan-on-band blow jobs. I wonder if Walt would have approved?
3. Jägermeister: The after-show was kicked off in fine style by the US MD of Jägermeister giving a fine demonstration on how to down a bottle of his elk blood flavoured drink, he then striped naked and proceeded to hump a 7 foot Jäger ice statue. Certainly the best product endorsement by an MD since Victor Kiam declared that the Remmington Shaver, his wife had bought him for Christmas, to be “so good that I bought the company”.
4. Breast Milk: My personal highlight in these debauched proceedings was a re-introduction to the long forgotten taste of Breast Milk as a friendly lactating lady showed me what a White Russian could be like when made with the freshest milk possible direct from the tap. Hmmmm…
5. A Mini Orgie: Evil Jared, the body builder bass player of the Bloodhound Gang, was last seen shoving a fully costumed Mini Mouse into a Limo, he was being assisted in this task by Kerry King, the guitarist of Slayer. Before they drove off they added to their booty 3 half naked female fans, the Jägermeister MD, who was now bound and gagged, and a case of champagne. Happy days!
