Celebrity Necrophilia (AKA bringing culture to Sikipedia)
OK I have a question: Imagine that you have a job working in a morgue. Maybe it is a weekend job pushing dead people around. You are left alone with the bodies but of course you are not supposed to touch them. Then one day a celebrity chick comes in. Imagine if it was 1997 and Princess Diana’s lifeless body is wheeled in. Or maybe it is longer ago than that and you are alone with a dead Marilyn Monroe. Or perhaps it is this weekend and it is Katie Price who comes in – OK she’s not dead yet but fuck it, we could get lucky – Anyway the point is, whoever it is they are dead sexy in the most literal possible sense. So don’t tell me that if you had the chance you wouldn’t have a little peek at her celebrity tits. eh? And then in for a penny in for a pound you might as well have a look at her cold vagina, I mean nothing sexual, don’t be sick, you are just wondering what sort of topiary she had going on down there – curiosity like that is not weird its normal – and hey imagine being able tell your mates down the pub how Lady Diana’s styled her pubes. That’s a bar story you can’t pass up. Even if it does feel a little weird. You can be sure that people have much worse thoughts all the time, however most of them are scared of their own thoughts, so much that they lie and tell other people who act on similar thoughts that they are the weird ones. Psychiatrists call it projection. But to not act on your thoughts is to repress them and every psychiatrist will tell you that repression is only going to lead to big trouble. You dont want to end up all fucked up and mental so of course you take a look at the clunge… and hey look she has a landing strip, a little dead landing strip. Now that’s interesting, I can tell my friends about that. And anyway even hair on live girl is dead so there is no difference in getting a boner about a dead girls pubic hair than it is to load one whilst fingering a live one. Hmmm I wonder what a dead clit is like? You have thought it now, you have got to check it out else that would be weird… Before long you are on the Gurnie banging the hell out of some celebrity birds dead arse hole, after all you are bound to go up the pooper, dead girls don’t say no…
So my question to you is does this count as losing my virginity?
