I found Frank backstage at last year’s Bizarre Ball and I gave him a few beers out of Electric Eel Shock’s rider. We sat drinking a beer together watching the various performers prepare or recover: naked people getting into rubber, a woman from the Circus of Horrors getting out of a bottle and a psycho cyborg having her tits sewn back up. It was quite a scene. Frank turned and said:
“Of course I have seen it all before… although not necessarily quite so much all at the same time.”
Johnny Vegas – I first saw him perform at the Talk Of London in maybe 1999 in a tour sponsored by Hob Nob biscuits. A complete and utter natural comedian who some people hate but I love to pieces. Phil Kay – Wild and free, Phil Kay has been around for years and still obviously enjoys it. His secret seems to be that if you don’t worry about material then you can’t get bored of it. Phil Nichol – His stage presence is amazing full of infectious energy, with brilliant stories too Dr Brown – I made friends with Dr Brown the first time I did anything at Edinburgh Fringe and he continues to inspire Paul Foot – a Unique comedy hero who tackles everything from a unique angle. He has made me laugh loud and hard at things I could never explain afterwards. Jethro – a fantastic ‘old school’ story teller, who looks like he just loves being on stage Freddie Star – I met him at Warwick Races in the 80′s, he’s still going! Chris Lynam – The first time I went to the Comedy Store in the 80′s I remember seeing Jo Brand but the act that made the most impression was Chris with a banger up the bum! Lenny Bruce – The original alternative comedian who broke more new ground than anyone else Dave Thompson – The man who was Tinky Winky brilliantly headlined the first comedy gig I promoted at Dirty Dicks, we have since done seveal gigs together including a great trip to the French Alps. Dave Allen – Another forerunner of Alternative Comedy Martin Soan – The king of prop comedy who has been going over 30 years and still one of the happiest most creative men I know Tommy Cooper – A true genius! Andy Kaufman – And another
OK I have a question: Imagine that you have a job working in a morgue. Maybe it is a weekend job pushing dead people around. You are left alone with the bodies but of course you are not supposed to touch them. Then one day a celebrity chick comes in. Imagine if it was 1997 and Princess Diana’s lifeless body is wheeled in. Or maybe it is longer ago than that and you are alone with a dead Marilyn Monroe. Or perhaps it is this weekend and it is Katie Price who comes in – OK she’s not dead yet but fuck it, we could get lucky – Anyway the point is, whoever it is they are dead sexy in the most literal possible sense. Read more »
Sometime in 2007 I was given the autobiography of the late great Malcolm Hardee, the godfather of Alternative comedy, I was fascinated by his wayward background prior to comedy. It inspired me to have a go myself and now I often stand on stages and do things which some people find funny and others just find odd. On October 1st 2009 at the 20th Birthday of Up The Creek, I was asked by Martin Soan to get naked and join him in the Balloon Dance playing the part of his old mate Malcolm Hardee who had started the club. It was indeed an honour and the comedy equivalent of Dee Dee Ramone ringing me up to come and sing like Joey down at CBGB’s… Knob Out!
The Greatest Show on Legs and the Balloon Dance (as seen on OTT) at the 20th Birthday Party of infamous Grenwich venue Up The Creek. Opened by Malcolm Hardee 20 years ago. Martin Soan (original Ballooner!), Bob Slayer (channelling Malcolm) and Dr Brown… Introduced by Terry Alderton (Doing a much better job as Malcolm!)
On April 29th I was Compère at the premier of Killer Bitch at The Curzon Cinema:
“Before we begin Liam the director of the film has asked me to do a few notices:
Please keep an eye on your possessions as Thieves and Pickpockets have been known to operate in this area.” I hear a few titters and groans from people who have anticipated where I am going and I continue:
Most notably:-
• Dave Courtney
• Roy Shaw
• Lenny Hamilton
• And Freddie Foreman
I get some cheers of approval as I read out each name and Dave Courtney calls me a Cheeky C**t.
Sunday Sport Review:
“It was a brave man to stand up in front of an A-list of the UK’s celebrity gangsters, assorted fighters, convicted football hooligans and the notorious Outlaw Motorcycle club at the premier of schlock Gangster film Killer Bitch.. To then proceed to ’slag’ off this scary audience was surely suicidal? … Compère Bob Slayer’s introduction scored top marks for sheer audacity. He picked his targets well and delivered cutting lines with such innocent cheeky charm that he had the likes of Dave Courtney (Gangster turned author) and Stormin’ Norman Buckland (the new Guv’nor of unlicensed British boxing) declaring afterwards that he was indeed a ‘right funny c**t’…” Read more »
A lot of debate has centred around the three leaders, however I am more interested in who is my local candidate. I have had all the leaflets through the door but the only candidate I was in to meet was the Conservative fella – He asked me if I was going to vote for him, I said probably not and he immediately left, hardly leaving me with the impression that he had a lot of fight in him. So I opened my door again and shouted “piss of baldy”. He ignored me. And therefore I will ignore him. Read more »
THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL BRITISH MOVIE OF THE 21st CENTURY
Released by Kaleidoscope Home Entertainment – Bank Holiday Monday 3rd MAY 2010
World Premiere on April 29th at the Curzon Cinema Mayfair (With Bob Slayer as MC!)
Followed by a Launch Party @ The Vendome club in Mayfair from 7.00pm.
“The film everyone’s talking about! Iron Man 2? Don’t be daft! It’s Killer Bitch, with Alex Reid! Will Alex turn up at the Premiere? Will Jordan let him?”News of The World
“A woman is forced into a deadly game in which she has to kill five people or all her friends and family will be butchered. With extreme violence and red hot sex, it’s a hard-edged lads’ movie that takes no prisoners.” Read more »
In 1968 some Brummy kids were bored of listening to the Beatles, or whatever their parents listened to, and so they dressed in Black on a Saturday, went down to their local church hall and played Blues based Rock their own way: slower, harder and louder than ever before. They bit the head off a bat and called this Heavy Metal. They were pronounced to be the devil and were not allowed to play in church halls any more…
In the 70′s a new wave of British kids were bored of listening to Black Sabbath, they wanted to differentiate themselves against what those old people from Birmingham were playing and they said no, slower is not scary, you must ditch the blues and play it fast. So they took that music and played it harder and louder and faster. This was the scariest music could get. Wasn’t it? Read more »
Last year I was asked by John Fleming if he could use Electric Eel Shock tracks in the film he was producing: Killer Bitch. In the end a total of 7 EES tracks are on the soundtrack. Liam, the director and writer also decided to include EES in the film itself. We set up a small gig in North London which was filmed and then the next day I drove Aki and Kazuto down to Chatham to film a few scenes in an old Napoleonic Fort. When we got down there Liam decided that he really liked the EES tour van, complete with flashing light, and soon both the Van and I as driver were also drafted into the film….
For the next few hours they pointed cameras at us while we dragging ex world champion boxer Robin Reid out of the back of the van and into the bowels of the Fort where EES, as Ninja assassins, were due to dispatch him… Of course we had been cast as the bad guys and Robin over powered us and then murdered us one by one… He was a very nice murderer and more than one take had to be re-shot as he apologised before Liam had called cut. Read more »
Having toured with bands for a number of years I get many requests for access backstage but I rarely oblige, this is not because I am a nasty bastard, it is because I don’t want to ruin their fantasy. It would come as a large disappointment to most gig goers to find out that what goes on behind the scenes is often really rather dull. Of course sex, drugs and booze does go on behind the rock and roll scenes but the reality is that this consumption is a necessity in order to deal with the boredom and repetition of touring: Long drives followed by unloading, setting up, bashing on instruments repeatedly for ages to check that the mics will pick up the sound correctly, then waiting around for the gig. A flurry of activity that is the gig and then pack all the stuff up again, carry it out to the van and set off to the next venue to do it all again…
Last night Electric Eel Shock were the headlining band on the Bizarre Ball and the night proved to be one of the beautiful exceptions. It reminded that it is possible for backstage to be a wonderful exciting place… Read more »
