APRIL 21ST, 2010
By BOBSLAYER
THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL BRITISH MOVIE OF THE 21st CENTURY
Released by Kaleidoscope Home Entertainment – Bank Holiday Monday 3rd MAY 2010
World Premiere on April 29th at the Curzon Cinema Mayfair (With Bob Slayer as MC!)
Followed by a Launch Party @ The Vendome club in Mayfair from 7.00pm.
“The film everyone’s talking about! Iron Man 2? Don’t be daft! It’s Killer Bitch, with Alex Reid! Will Alex turn up at the Premiere? Will Jordan let him?” News of The World
“A woman is forced into a deadly game in which she has to kill five people or all her friends and family will be butchered. With extreme violence and red hot sex, it’s a hard-edged lads’ movie that takes no prisoners.” Read more »
MARCH 28TH, 2010
By BOBSLAYER
In 1968 some Brummy kids were bored of listening to the Beatles, or whatever their parents listened to, and so they dressed in Black on a Saturday, went down to their local church hall and played Blues based Rock their own way: slower, harder and louder than ever before. They bit the head off a bat and called this Heavy Metal. They were pronounced to be the devil and were not allowed to play in church halls any more…
In the 70′s a new wave of British kids were bored of listening to Black Sabbath, they wanted to differentiate themselves against what those old people from Birmingham were playing and they said no, slower is not scary, you must ditch the blues and play it fast. So they took that music and played it harder and louder and faster. This was the scariest music could get. Wasn’t it? Read more »
MARCH 25TH, 2010
By BOBSLAYER
Last year I was asked by John Fleming if he could use Electric Eel Shock tracks in the film he was producing: Killer Bitch. In the end a total of 7 EES tracks are on the soundtrack. Liam, the director and writer also decided to include EES in the film itself. We set up a small gig in North London which was filmed and then the next day I drove Aki and Kazuto down to Chatham to film a few scenes in an old Napoleonic Fort. When we got down there Liam decided that he really liked the EES tour van, complete with flashing light, and soon both the Van and I as driver were also drafted into the film….
For the next few hours they pointed cameras at us while we dragging ex world champion boxer Robin Reid out of the back of the van and into the bowels of the Fort where EES, as Ninja assassins, were due to dispatch him… Of course we had been cast as the bad guys and Robin over powered us and then murdered us one by one… He was a very nice murderer and more than one take had to be re-shot as he apologised before Liam had called cut. Read more »
OCTOBER 24TH, 2009
By BOBSLAYER
Having toured with bands for a number of years I get many requests for access backstage but I rarely oblige, this is not because I am a nasty bastard, it is because I don’t want to ruin their fantasy. It would come as a large disappointment to most gig goers to find out that what goes on behind the scenes is often really rather dull. Of course sex, drugs and booze does go on behind the rock and roll scenes but the reality is that this consumption is a necessity in order to deal with the boredom and repetition of touring: Long drives followed by unloading, setting up, bashing on instruments repeatedly for ages to check that the mics will pick up the sound correctly, then waiting around for the gig. A flurry of activity that is the gig and then pack all the stuff up again, carry it out to the van and set off to the next venue to do it all again…
Last night Electric Eel Shock were the headlining band on the Bizarre Ball and the night proved to be one of the beautiful exceptions. It reminded that it is possible for backstage to be a wonderful exciting place… Read more »
APRIL 22ND, 2009
By BOBSLAYER
Bob Slayer’s Debauchery in Disneyland
Harry knows that I tour around the world with Japanese rock band Electric Eel Shock and so he set me the task of listing my top 5 most debauched after shows but, like the sixties, if you remember them then you were not really there! So instead here are 5 chronological debauched happenings at one randomly selected gig:
The Bloodhound Gang at The House of Blues in Disneyland, LA.
1. Mickey Mouse Police: Security stopped us on the way into Disneyland and turned the Tour Bus and Truck upside down looking for drugs. Of course there were lots of drugs on board, but they were well out of the reach of sniffer dogs, gaffer taped to the roof! Read more »
FEBRUARY 27TH, 2009
By BOBSLAYER
LESBIANS
Last night on my way home I met two drunken Slovakian lesbians at Bank tube station – They were trying to get back to their hotel in Borough but it being London no one would help them… well it could also have been something to do with the fact that one of them was barking like a dog and snarling at anyone who got near to them… which was a little off putting for most potential providers of assistance… But not for Bob Slayer… Read more »
FEBRUARY 22ND, 2009
By BOBSLAYER
Recently I was pontificating upon why we find certain words offensive…
Take for example the unmentionable swear…
If you delve into the origins of the C Word you will find that it’s utterance has not always had such a Taboo attached to it…
It is thought that the C word derives from the old Norse Kunta and the Latin cunnus – meaning both mysterious and wedge – hardly an offensive origin is it? Quite Sweet really. Whereas the more accepted term: Vagina derives from the Latin for a place to sheath one’s sword or ‘Gaping wound’… neither very nice or PC at all…
In olde English the word was as inoffensive as say “Front Bottom” or the beautifully phrased “lady garden” Read more »
FEBRUARY 20TH, 2009
By BOBSLAYER
The Bride – Bob Slayer
Roughly ten years ago I did my first open-mic comedy gig in my then local pub on Haven Lane in Ealing (for those that are familiar with Ealing, or are of a pedantry nature, I am afraid that I do not recall the name of the pub, but it was the one that didn’t do lock-ins). On the same bill that night was a then newish comic with glasses and a stutter… he was so amazingly good and left such an impression upon me that whilst chatting with him at the bar after the gig I decided ‘what is the fucking point…’ and didn’t do another gig for 9 years. The comic was Daniel Kitson, who at the time had yet to win the Perrier Award and I believe was just making the transfer from open mics to paid gigs.
So I didn’t become a comic and I continued with my job of tour managing rock bands… Now this often involves having to pop onto the stage in order to make the odd announcement. After I fleetingly lost my comedy virginity I increasingly found reasons to get on stage and share with the audience some such ‘important’ piece of information about the evening. After a while I began to announce the acts while I was up there and before long I was regularly acting as MC for gigs all around the world. Read more »
MARCH 17TH, 2008
By BOBSLAYER
Last night I watched a film about Cowboys who do it in a tent – I then went to a bar near my house (Bar 54 Mile End) to meet a man called Jesse… I was totally sober which was an odd feeling going to a bar at midnight…
The huge bouncer said he had to search me… as he patted me down / fondled me I said: “be careful as I have just watched Brokeback Mountain and I am feeling a little confused…” He didn’t find it very funny, got all gruff and assured me and my friend that he wasn’t one of those types…
After Jesse pointed out that it was a rather brave / silly thing to say to a man the size of a truck we got to the door and descovered that it was £10 to get in – you must be joking! So I decided I wasn’t one of those types that spend £10 to get into a club and I wasn’t going in – we stood outside in the smoking area for a bit of a chat…
We watched a drunk fella come out to have a cigarette – but he tripped down the steps and fell into the bouncer… the bouncer picked him up and threw him on the pavement and was looming over him shouting… a friend of the drunk ran over and pushed the bouncer away from the drunk… (oh dear) the bouncer hit this guy so hard his feet came off the ground… (it was quite impressive!)
Another bouncer (a lady) came running out the bar and tried to hold the huge bouncer back – he was proper mad! As has been seen I have been known to be a little foolish at times and tonight was no exception – ignoring the rule that says you never get involved in another man’s fight I ran over to the drunk and his friend and advised them to get out of there quickly – the drunks friend swore a lot – he was also bleeding quite a bit. The drunk was just looking confused. I agreed that the bouncer was indeed in the wrong and yes, he was being rather heavy handed, but none of that would matter if he hit him again! The drunks friend did not heed my warning, he obviously enjoyed being hit and, despite being half his size, was determined to square up the bouncer again… And as I was between him and the bouncer he also starting to square up to me as well and so I decided that he was an idiot so left them to it… Returning to the smoking area to watch the show…
The bouncer got free from the girl bouncer and punched both the drunks friend and the poor drunk – again making both of them go up in the air as he hit them (the big fella knew how to swing a crowd pleasing punch!)… the drunks friend must have been made of Kevlar or something because he got up and again squared up to the bouncer (he was bleeding a lot at this stage)… He got rewarded with a third punch which actually made him do a back somersault as he hit the ground. The lady bouncer pulled the big bouncer back and took him inside…
The drunks friend was spitting blood and teeth and the poor drunk, who would have been 300% better off had his friend not tried to ‘help’ him, did not get up and was still lay there 10 or 15 mins later when I decided to leave… I wouldn’t be surprised (but rather saddened) if I found out that he was dead!
I think it would have been better for everyone concerned if the bouncer and the drunks friend had just admitted that they were gay and fucked each other… in a tent…
