Bob’s Stand Up in Hong Kong, France & UK

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My 10 year Journey from Consternation to Inspiration
Or how I will make Daniel Kitson my Wife

The Bride – Bob Slayer

Roughly ten years ago I did my first open-mic comedy gig in my then local pub on Haven Lane in Ealing (for those that are familiar with Ealing, or are of a pedantry nature, I am afraid that I do not recall the name of the pub, but it was the one that didn’t do lock-ins). On the same bill that night was a then newish comic with glasses and a stutter… he was so amazingly good and left such an impression upon me that whilst chatting with him at the bar after the gig I decided ‘what is the fucking point…’ and didn’t do another gig for 9 years. The comic was Daniel Kitson, who at the time had yet to win the Perrier Award and I believe was just making the transfer from open mics to paid gigs.

So I didn’t become a comic and I continued with my job of tour managing rock bands… Now this often involves having to pop onto the stage in order to make the odd announcement. After I fleetingly lost my comedy virginity I increasingly found reasons to get on stage and share with the audience some such ‘important’ piece of information about the evening. After a while I began to announce the acts while I was up there and before long I was regularly acting as MC for gigs all around the world. Read more »

Bob Slayer – You Bastard @ Edinburgh Fringe

I met Noel Fielding the other day – he has very soft lady hands

I met Noel Fielding the other day – he has very soft lady hands…
It’s quite disconcerting when you meet someone and just by shaking their hand you immediately imagine them wanking you off. My first reaction on this Onanistic thought entering my head my head was one of happy bliss… and as I am not a very good poker player it surely showed on my face… This was immediately followed by a face of fear caused by the realisation that I might indeed be gay and I am ashamed to say that I recoiled from Noel… Consequently he ran away…
But I still have the memory of his lilly soft hands x