I met Noel Fielding the other day – he has very soft lady hands

I met Noel Fielding the other day – he has very soft lady hands…
It’s quite disconcerting when you meet someone and just by shaking their hand you immediately imagine them wanking you off. My first reaction on this Onanistic thought entering my head my head was one of happy bliss… and as I am not a very good poker player it surely showed on my face… This was immediately followed by a face of fear caused by the realisation that I might indeed be gay and I am ashamed to say that I recoiled from Noel… Consequently he ran away…
But I still have the memory of his lilly soft hands x